Monthly Log September 2023

Sep 4, 2023 | About 4 min reading time

Content warning: discussion of pet death

I recently decided I'm going to start making little monthly log posts, just as a way to sort of share what's been going on with me, so here's the first one.

Went to the dentist for a consultation and my first dental cleaning in nearly a decade (money issues). I was super worried about my teeth as they're very crooked/crowded, I have some jaw issues too, and one was actually loose and had been for about two years at this point (I was doing everything in my power to keep it in place until I could get to a dentist), but it turns out because my teeth are crooked, the adult teeth that would normally push out my baby teeth came out at odd angles and left the baby teeth alone. My loose tooth was one of those baby teeth, and I still have the other one too. I've literally had those two baby teeth for over a decade. It's not as rare to keep baby teeth as an adult, but what is rare is having the adult teeth that were meant to replace them at the same time. Anyways, I yanked the loose tooth out a couple weeks later, now I don't have to worry about that.

Really, the only problem with my teeth being so crooked besides that is that two of them are pretty much behind other teeth, which makes them hard to clean. But apparently I can just... get them pulled if I'd like, and not bother with too much orthodontic treatment. Though orthodontic treatment and jaw surgery are still recommended. My dentist told me I can look into getting my insurance to cover it since it's more a health issue for me, but if they don't make an exception for that I'm not sure how I'd afford it.

Honestly I'm relieved though, because the only orthodontist I went to as a 14-year-old took one look inside my mouth, went "Holy crap," and then I became so insecure about my teeth because he didn't explain any of what was actually wrong. I was sitting here for almost ten years thinking my teeth were horribly messed up, but they're not anywhere near as bad as I thought they were.

I need wisdom teeth removed too, but I think that's pretty normal.

Onto sadder stuff: my stick insect Otto passed away yesterday. It seems to have been old age, since he would've been an adult when my brother got him, and then my brother had him for a little bit before giving him to me, and I've had him since around June I believe. They only live for around a year, give or take. I still didn't expect it, though - in my mind, I thought he was younger, especially since he's much smaller than my brother's stick insect who is definitely older and still kicking. I cried like a baby most of yesterday and the night before (when I initially found him in the dying process).

Stick insects are parthenogenic (most species are, at least), meaning they reproduce asexually and produce female clones of themselves this way (Otto was female - I just got into the habit of using he/him pronouns for him). So I have about 7 little nymphs of him in the enclosure right now, some of which are getting quite big. There are still some eggs in there too, and my brother has some more of Otto's eggs, so I find a little comfort in knowing that his descendants will live on (and produce more near clones of him). My partner jokingly called them the Ottolettes, which I think fits them well.

Otto was quite nervous and shy at first, and clumsy as well. He eventually worked up the courage to let me handle him, and even tried to nibble me a few times. I have videos and photos of him that will go on the page for my stick insects when I make it. He also had nymphs frequently take rides on his back or legs, although I also watched him step on a nymph once (said nymph is fine and still alive) because he was too dumb to realize that his child was not a convenient foothold.

Rest in peace, Otto.

In happier news, I've started making F2U codes on Toyhouse, and I've also started making Neocities templates here (there's only one at the moment, but I do hope to add more).

I also plan to work a lot more on my interactive fiction novel this month. I've got a bit of an outline planned out for it, though outlining interactive fiction is quite hard.

I'm also planning a YouTube video on the indie web revival movement, so if anyone has any ideas for stuff I should mention in that, please let me know! Ideally, it will be encouraging those who are disillusioned with social media to make their own websites, and explain some of the process and good things to know.

I'm also coding a Neocities website for my partner to use, which is pretty fun so far and is giving me opportunities to fiddle around with stuff that I've wanted to try out but didn't necessarily want to put on my own site.

It's still hard to shake the feeling that I'm not doing enough, especially since I'm taking a break from university and trying to find a suitable job is difficult, but I'm trying to remind myself that I am learning stuff and I'm doing my best.